We are programmed to resist change, to maintain the status quo, to not rock the boat, or upset the apple cart. The list of clichés about what not to do becomes overwhelming!
The reality is that life is about change and change requires taking action that will most likely rock the boat for somebody somewhere. Society embraces some boat rocking, kids graduate from high school and leave home and new technology arises; we know what we are supposed to do with these kinds of changes. But what about leaving a job that is no longer satisfying, or a relationship that doesn’t work anymore? What about internal changes? You realize that not setting boundaries is not healthy, how do you change that?
What ends up happening is that we stay way too long, in patterns of behavior, jobs, relationships, or living situations that we’ve outgrown. We become frustrated with ourselves, others, and the situation. Then we have a sudden blast of energy and we throw ourselves off the cliff of radical change. Often that change doesn’t last because it was too much too fast. How many times have you repeated this pattern and found yourself right back where you started feeling even more disappointed?
When we can learn to embrace change as a natural part of a life fully lived, understanding that life itself is an ongoing process of transitions, we are able to make real lasting progress towards healthier and happier experiences.
Many people are surprised to learn that transitions begin with endings instead of jumping into an exciting new beginning. When we jump into a new beginning without a proper ending, we eventually find that quite often the same old scenario has been recreated.
What is a proper way to end something? Ideally it is done with planning and thoughtfulness in a way that focuses on appreciation for what was once a good thing. It isn’t necessary to make the thing that is ending a bad thing in order to justify the ending. Simply acknowledge that it is something that once served a purpose in your life and now you have outgrown it. When you take time to end what no longer serves you in a good way, even if you don’t know yet what the new beginning will be, whatever it is will be much more satisfactory because you didn’t bring unfinished business along to weigh you down.
Transitions will continue to unfold for as long as you live, so enjoy that new beginning but keep in mind that one day it too will need to end and make way for what’s next.
If you are ready to make some changes in your life but don’t yet have the skills or clarity to get going, consider attending the NOW program. Here you will learn how to listen to your own inner guidance to find out what is waiting in the wings of your life, and you will gain the tools to make the transition from where you are to where you would like to be.
Carol ROUSH, founder of Medicine Horse Way, 2015